A Letter to My Showing Students

“Did you see who is in my division?”

“I’m competing against _____, so I’m sure I’ll beat her.”

“I’m only going so I can win a ribbon.”

As the first schooling shows start opening up, I like to remind my students who they are-and aren’t-competing against when they show, and how I expect them to conduct themselves. Here’s a letter to all of my students going to shows this year.

Dear Student,

Guess who you’re competing against this weekend?

It’s not the other competitors listed in the division.

It’s not even the other riders at the show!

The only one you’re competing against is yourself. Your goals are the number one most important factor in determining if you even show at all, and how the success of the show is measured. That way, you’re able to progress, learn, excel, and have good experiences at shows without added pressure or negativity. At Valley View, we hold ourselves to a standard of good sportsmanship and putting our horses first, and every time you go to a show with us-whether you’re competing or not-you represent the entire Valley View barn.

I won’t allow you or any of my students to use comparisons and competition as a weapon, a jealousy-motivator, or a source of putting yourself above anyone else. I have been on the receiving, and sadly, the giving, end of all of those negative, toxic characteristics that showing can bring out in people, and I am here to say that if those are part of your showing experience, you unfortunately will have to find yourself another barn. So how will you specifically help us keep our good reputation and help everyone have a great experience at a show? Let me remind you of the Valley View Equestrian Team Code of Conduct:

1. You will show respect to your horse. You will attend to your horse first and make sure excellent care is given so that he is comfortable and happy at all possible times. You will put your horse’s needs above your own agenda and expectations. You will be respectful of your horse’s physical limitations and abilities.
   EXAMPLES: Taking into consideration your horse’s experience, physical ability, and mental capacity when choosing divisions. Making sure your horse has fresh water while at the trailer or in their stall. Keeping their stall clean. Not sitting on your horse when it’s not absolutely needed. Warming your horse up sufficiently without tiring them out.

2. You will show respect for yourself, your teammates, and all riders. You will show sportsmanship and encouragement for all riders at the show, not just your own team. You will be helpful, friendly, courteous, and kind to all riders at the show. Horse sports are hard enough! Everyone needs encouragement.
   EXAMPLES: Cheer for everyone! Be friendly and ask people their names. Ask everyone how their rides went, and empathize with them if they had a bad time. Really listen to everyone at the show and what they have to say. Help someone learn their course, tack up, or calm their nerves.

3. You will focus on your goals for the show and not the placings/scoring/etc. You will show a positive attitude and a willingness to learn from your mistakes and give your horse the benefit of the doubt. This does not mean you aren’t allowed emotions! But you will absolutely NOT punish your horse for bad outcomes, and you will show maturity and sportsmanship. Frustrations and disappointments are a large part of this sport, and have their place to help us learn. But if your frustrations and disappointments turn from helping to hurting you or your horse, or spreading negativity to your teammates or others at the show, you’ll have to rethink your behavior.
   EXAMPLES: Not bad mouthing the judge or their comments. Not spreading negative comments about any rider, their horse, their tack, ANYTHING. Pat your horse when you leave the ring, EVERY TIME! Cry at your trailer if you need to, then think about what you can learn.

4. You will show respect for your coach, the judges, spectators and parents. Your coach is there to help you and if you aren’t receptive to constructive criticism you should not be at a show. If you can’t respect your coach’s decisions for you and your horse you should find another coach. Judges are humans who are tasked with the hard job of trying to help riders succeed but learn at the same time. Sometimes judges’ philosophies don’t match up with your own training philosophies, and that’s ok! You can learn something from every judge you ride for, and that attitude is absolutely essential in showing. Parents put a lot of time into your success at shows, and your respect and gratitude to them for their support not only means the world to them, but it means you can have a place on our team.
   EXAMPLES: Assess your rides with your coach and get their feedback on how your goals were accomplished or not. Thank your parents! Thank the judge, the show secretary, the volunteers. Find out from your coach what you can fix on your dressage tests or how you can have a better jump round.

My job is to keep you safe and try as hard as I can to help you reach your goals, learn and have fun with horses. Help me help you by following these rules, and everyone can have a super fun time showing!

Love,
Kate

Side note: This Code of Conduct is not only for students. I hold parents to these standards as well, and I have a ZERO TOLERANCE policy for parents who bully, demean, disrespect, use unhealthy comparisons, or spread negativity or toxic behavior. I am not immune to these rules either, and I appreciate you all holding me to these same standards!